It’s official. Avram Grant is now as good as José Mourinho.This has come as something of a surprise to many of us, who expected Avram to be the very definition of the stopgap manager; the interim measure before a bright young star appeared on the horizon in a sharp suit. Deschamps, Klinsmann, even the expectorating [...]

As recent transfer rumblings have taught us, playing like a complete no-mark can have a surprising effect on your marketability and price in the English market.A recent Guardian article listed several players, notably Titus Bramble, Lassana Diarra and Tal Ben Haim, as shining examples of how ineptitude or lack of experience can cause your value [...]

Didier Drogba would like to leave Chelsea. This in itself is nothing unusual: history is littered with similar instances.Ruud van Nistelrooy was hardly a spent force when he left United two years ago, and his goal record for Real Madrid is still reasonably impressive. It certainly seems as though Thierry Henry had had his head [...]

Damn you, Chelsea. Damn you to hell. Why couldn’t you just have the good grace to do what everyone was expecting you to do – collapse – and save me any more emotional investment in this season?It was all going to be so sweet. I had my faintly superior, dismissive persona all buffed and ready [...]

And so the revolution continues apace. Despite the innate conservatism of the Mourinho years, Chelsea have rediscovered their roots. Inferior opposition – and without the injured Kevin Kuranyi, inferior seems almost too mild a term for toothless Schalke – are being put to the sword with comfortable disdain. Faced with a stiffer challenge, such as [...]

As a little disclaimer before this rant-ette begins, would readers please be advised that the writer is aware a) of the minimal likelihood of anything “true” surfacing through a football gossip site calling itself Soccerthing or FootballForever, and b) the utter impossibility of Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich reading this. Still, I live in hope. The [...]

The word that has been preying on my mind in recent days: mediocre. Well, it’s not the only word, but the others are just synonyms thereof. Bland. Unimaginative. One-dimensional. Dull. This weekend, Chelsea were well beaten by a better team. Before my fellow fans gather around my front door to harangue me for my lack [...]

So farewell, José, soi-disant Special One and the man who will always be remembered for his efforts to bring a little southern European style to the dour English game.Not from a footballing point of view, of course. No, it’s a dress sense thing. Who could forget the Armani (or was it Matalan) 3/4-length coat of [...]

Before I begin today’s rant, I’d like to make it clear that I am neither related to, friends with, a supporter of, or in any way influenced by the work of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. I hold no great love for our cousins from Merseyside, but I certainly don’t think of them as hysterical [...]

Why do we fall for it every year, eh? The ludicrous overblown Sky billing. The new away kits (ours is, frankly, is a crime not only against fashion but possibly people with a reaction to bright light and strobe effects). The proclamation from the captain / tub-thumper that we’ll “be in the hunt for it [...]