As football fans we are a pretty righteous bunch. We’re faithful and dedicated and where others might just talk, we put in hard hours and back them up with real money. We’re selfless and generous and honest. We’re like angels really. And, like angels, we’re allowed to cast judgement on those beneath us. Of course, [...]
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Apparently today is the most depressing day of the year in the UK, at least that’s what I heard on Radio 2 this morning before realising with bleak dejection that I was listening to Radio 2 on a Monday morning and had irrevocably become old. Old. I tried Radio 1 but that was just noise. [...]
Continue reading …No, no, no, no, no. Far be it from me to tell Carlo “Champions League Maestro” Ancelotti how to do his job, but you know, in the same way as there’s always some toothless old geezer in the background of a disaster movie, sitting in a beaten-up shack, warning ‘I wouldn’t do that if I [...]
Continue reading …Right, well, that’s the Premier League underway, and now that every team has played at least once I think we’re justified in jumping to conclusions. After all, if we learnt nothing else from the World Cup – and we didn’t – it’s that you can easily forecast what the general outcome of a tournament will [...]
Continue reading …If there’s anything I like more than hearing a good conspiracy theory it’s spreading a good conspiracy theory around. I remember being told that Charlton Heston was secretly gay which is why they called the film Ben-Hur. It was supposed to be called Ben-Him but MGM changed the title, you know, on account of his [...]
Continue reading …Well that’s torn it. The only good thing to come out of last week’s OAP Milan’s visit to Old Trafford was Beckham’s ten minutes of pinpoint crossing and miracle volley that not only put him on the plane to South Africa but booked him as supersub numero uno well ahead of Aaron Lennon and Sean [...]
Continue reading …So first things first. How come no one has yet said anything about the ridiculous new turnstiles they’ve put in place at the Bridge? You know the ones, they have to be manned by stewards because they don’t work properly. As with all genius ideas, on paper the plan was perfect: Replace humans with robots [...]
Continue reading …You know how it goes: You move to England, score loads of goals, win the league, your contract runs out, your club refuses to renegotiate, and the neighbours see an opportunity to stick an oar in by buying you. What next? Obviously your former teammate slags you off in the Maltese press, you score in [...]
Continue reading …You glide silently between defenders, waiting for the slightest indication to make the incisive surge. Out on the left Ashley Cole loses his marker, he’s in half a yard of space and JT has spotted him. You accelerate, when the moment comes, if it comes, you won’t have time to readjust, you’ll need to be [...]
Continue reading …When the headline writers are forced to turn their might to the back pages (Hand Gaul – The Independent; French Nickers – Daily Mirror; Henry’s Pat – I made that one up) you know something significant has happened in the world of sport. Poor old Ireland. Sadly I can but offer commiserations, to Ireland; to [...]
Continue reading …“Give a little, Take a little… Let your poor heart break a little.” Sound advice from our boy Dean to newlyweds, and so I knew I had a responsibility to watch the X Factor on Sunday evening after my wife had let me listen to the Chelsea game for the entire duration of our drive [...]
Continue reading …It all happened so fast: one day Luis Felipe Scolari was in charge of one of the biggest football clubs in the world, the next he was carrying his personal belongings down the Fulham Road in a cardboard box. From Hero to Zero, from Saviour to See Ya! however you look at it, Felipe flopped. [...]
Continue reading …Well, it’s a new season and that means Match of the Day is back on TV. Usually this is good news, especially now that Sky+ means every goal, dive, refereeing blunder, and Lineker witticism really is “unmissable”. But we’re only two weeks in and already I’ve noticed a certain lethargy sneaking into proceedings. Gary, Alan [...]
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