Section » View from the Bridge
THE RISE OF THE TURNBULLATOR
Well that’s torn it. The only good thing to come out of last week’s OAP Milan’s visit to Old Trafford was Beckham’s ten minutes of pinpoint crossing and miracle volley that not only put him on the plane to South Africa but booked him as supersub numero uno well ahead of Aaron Lennon and Sean Wright Phillips. And now even that’s been taken ...
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HE’S A FOOTBALLER NOT A MARRIAGE COUNCILLOR
So first things first. How come no one has yet said anything about the ridiculous new turnstiles they’ve put in place at the Bridge? You know the ones, they have to be manned by stewards because they don’t work properly. As with all genius ideas, on paper the plan was perfect: Replace humans with ...
GARY NEVILLE FINGERS TEVEZ?
You know how it goes: You move to England, score loads of goals, win the league, your contract runs out, your club refuses to renegotiate, and the neighbours see an opportunity to stick an oar in by buying you. What next? Obviously your former teammate slags you off in the Maltese press, you score in ...
DROGBA DOESN’T DO MUCH
You glide silently between defenders, waiting for the slightest indication to make the incisive surge. Out on the left Ashley Cole loses his marker, he’s in half a yard of space and JT has spotted him. You accelerate, when the moment comes, if it comes, you won’t have time to readjust, you’ll need ...
HENRY’S PAT
When the headline writers are forced to turn their might to the back pages (Hand Gaul – The Independent; French Nickers – Daily Mirror; Henry’s Pat – I made that one up) you know something significant has happened in the world of sport. Poor old Ireland. Sadly I can but offer commiserations, ...
THE PREMIER LEAGUE X FACTOR
“Give a little, Take a little… Let your poor heart break a little.” Sound advice from our boy Dean to newlyweds, and so I knew I had a responsibility to watch the X Factor on Sunday evening after my wife had let me listen to the Chelsea game for the entire duration of our drive back ...
WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG FOR BIG PHIL SCOLARI?
It all happened so fast: one day Luis Felipe Scolari was in charge of one of the biggest football clubs in the world, the next he was carrying his personal belongings down the Fulham Road in a cardboard box. From Hero to Zero, from Saviour to See Ya! however you look at it, Felipe flopped. The man who ...
THE VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE
Well, it’s a new season and that means Match of the Day is back on TV. Usually this is good news, especially now that Sky+ means every goal, dive, refereeing blunder, and Lineker witticism really is “unmissable”. But we’re only two weeks in and already I’ve noticed a certain lethargy sneaking ...
A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE
Well once again it would seem that time, swearing and whisky; then some more time, a little indistinguishable ranting and whatever’s in the back of the drinks’ cabinet; and then a few days off, is all it takes: even the most egregious of outcomes can blur into sporting history. Sporting History, ...
LIVERPOOL OR MANCHESTER UNITED?
I don’t know what’s going on with the laws of statistics these days but a fortnight after a 100 to 1 shot romped home at the Grand National, Chelsea draw 4-4 at home with Liverpool at odds of 500-1. Does that make sense to you? or are we currently in some kind of reverse probability vortex ...
INDECENT PROPOSAL
There is more than one way to get back to Chelsea from Turin, and likewise more than one way to celebrate Chelsea’s march into the Champions League quarter finals. Last Wednesday I came across two Chelsea fans who’d found a way to resolve both these dilemmas by commandeering the bar cart on the Eurostar ...
HAIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW
What a disastrous month February is turning out to be. At its inception I was all set for Federer to notch up another ’slam, for Strauss to shape England into an ashes winning side, and of course for Quaresma to help turn around our season. One or two wins on the spin, as Lamps likes to say, and ...
THE GLORIOUS TURNAROUND
There is a period of time that exists beyond the scope of clocks, a period so transient it can only be expressed in human terms. It’s that time it takes you to get to the loo after you’ve fumbled the keys in the front door. That time it takes from you casually peering out of a mate’s flat ...
