
Tipping Point. There’s an expression that’s popped up out of nowhere and spread like an itchy rash.
Tipping Point. I’ll bet if you’d said those words five years ago people would have assumed you were talking about the point at which the service in a restaurant stopped being within the realm of the discretionary 12.5% and […]

See? You see how we know it’s a good signing? Because just like Jose Mourinho, his name slots nicely into a recognisable chant format and at the same time gives you scope for topical versatility. Get in!The best I could come up with for old Avram was to the tune of No Limits by 2unlimited: […]

Poor old JT. Initially I was going to use quite a lot of swearwords in this piece. The f word, the t word, the c word, yes even the u word - basically my vocabulary miraculously expanded when I let my mind wander onto the w*nk-faced bunch of morons that is Manchester United - but […]

If you had to choose only one, which would you rather: Champions’ League or Premier League? It’s a straightforward question with a seemingly straightforward answer: Champions’ League, but last night, once we’d drunk more than was necessary, it was a topic of hot debate.
As far as i can make it, here are the arguments […]

Ahh the delicious irony of it all. With just two Premiership games left of what has been the most unpredictable season in living memory, (glorious will be pre-fixed to unpredictable should Manchester United drop points against either, or preferably both of their final opponents West Ham and Wigan Athletic whilst the Blues fare better against […]

“Lucky twat!” - The words were spoken softly and dejectedly behind me as a Liverpool fan made his way to the pub door. I nodded in agreement, there was no doubt about it: the injury time goal had been lucky, and the way I’d jumped up and cheered had been a bit twattish, so I […]

It’s dawn on matchday. Through the curtain the weather is dank because the air pressure is low. But that’s the only pressure that’s low, there’s another pressure, a high one, a tenser, more nervous one deep inside: a bladder pressure.
You get up and head to the loo, then you run a shallow bath, cold water […]

News-flash! Lampard and Ballack click in Chelsea midfield. “I don’t understand it” says tabloid journalist, “I just turned on the telly and there it was.” Seriously now, if you replaced Ballack with Gerrard and Chelsea with England that would be front page news, and whoever the manager was would be knighted”.
But it’s not, it’s […]