What exciting news that Kevin Keegan has once again returned to Tyneside. Well I suppose it is if you’re a Geordie, god love ’em, with all their notions of grandeur, ridiculous expectation and often downright arrogance. CFCnet would like to extend its collective hand of friendship and welcome Kev to the fold, not least because it will give us someone else to laugh at every week now that Didier Drogba’s bitch, Titus Bramble, has left the club.

We’d also like to welcome all the Newcastle supporters to the site, because no doubt given your new found riches, you’ll be registering on the site and giving it large. Please form an orderly queue, and take the cries of ‘Where were you when you were sh*t’ firmly on the chin, because you know you deserve it.

I note with some interest in today’s papers that Kev will receive a blank cheque for transfers and has been told that only his imagination should limit his rebuilding plans at Newcastle United. On that basis, we at CFCnet look forward to reading match reports and player ratings for the March Hare, his compatriot at left back, the Dormouse and probably Eric Cantona as captain. We’re not sure what it’s going to do to our Fantasy League ratings, though.

Just a word of warning, Kev: you know how high the expectations are up there, so assuming you haven’t delivered the Moon on a Stick by this time next season, which you won’t, I’d think now about your exit strategy. I thought Chelsea fans were fickle, that was until I had to listen to the daily outpouring of bilge on the nations sports radio phone-ins.

Be careful out there, and you Newcastle fans, be careful what you wish for. What’s that? Oh, too late.