At CFCnet we admire the media in the same way that Anders Frisk pines for Jose Mourinho.  Over the years, we’ve witnessed at first hand how journalists write what they want and carefully select their sound bites to give their opinions more weight.  This week’s been no exception with Channel 4 News asking CFCnet to visit their Gray’s Inn studios for a ‘little chat’ and TV interview.

The chat in question?  The aftermath of Wednesday’s semi final defeat when the players rounded on the referee Ovrebo and Didier Drogba sweared at the camera using the f-word.

Our response? We turned the air blue ourselves….

“Look, you lot are the perfect examples of media hypocrites.  There are twelve cameras based around Stamford Bridge and the producer chose to show Drogba swearing into the camera. An accident?  I think not.”

“Do you think we’re stupid? Live TV works on a brief time delay and if Drogba had shouted ‘you absolute f***g c**t, you absolute shocking b****d c**t of a referee‘ do you think it would have been shown? Of course not, the producer would have been sacked that same night.”

“The producer knew what was said and selected that camera shot purposely because he or she thought it would make great television.  This whole controversy is self-generated to give you more TV content.  Simple as.”

At this point, Channel 4 butted in but we continued……

“You lot are shameless.  Channel 4 broke the television record for use of the f-word when Gordon Ramsey said it 132 times on the Great British Nightmare.  Why? Because his pastry, God forbid, was overcooked. Drogba said it once, in a Champions League semi final watched by 1 billion people.”

Channel 4 tried again to interrupt but we carried on …

“When Channel 4 were criticised over Gordon’s Ramsey, your press spokesperson said, It was after the watershed. The swearing is a expression of Gordon’s passion’. If Gordon was overcome because his pastry was slightly singed, what do you think Drogba felt like in a Champions League semi final littered with referee mistakes?  In any event, Drogba swore after the watershed too.”

“You really are the epitome of media hypocrites, the sort of journalists that write about a cocaine scandal whilst visiting the toilets frequently for another ‘line’.”

“We’re not buying it and we’re not coming on your show.  Cheers.”

As far as CFCnet is concerned, we couldn’t fault the way our players put heart and soul into their Champions League campaign, not just on Wednesday night but throughout the whole season. They get an A for effort.  Ten out of ten. Including before, during and after Wednesday’s game.

That’s more than we can say for journalists like the Indies’ James Lawton and the Standard’s Matthew Norman who are decent writers, sure, but their intellect makes any sane man weep. 

Thank God for real football journalists like Brian Glanville, Patrick Barclay, Henry Winter and Gabriele Marcotti.  We also hold in high regard an excellent Israeli football hack who writes for Ha’aretz and is a true football fan, if what Charlton serve up can be called football, but we promised not to shame him. 

 Aside from these select few, most media are shameless parasites where the phrase ‘investigative journalism’ means finding out whether the biker courier’s delivered the next ‘line’ – and we’re not talking sentences.