Immediately after the announcement by Alex Ferguson (no ‘Sir’) that Rooney wanted to leave Man Utd, CFCnet swung into action to conduct a straw poll of Chelsea fans to see whether we wanted the Grannie lover. The result? Read on….

The poll, admittedly as biased as a parliamentary expenses inquiry, surprised CFCnet with its unanimity: everyone wants Rooney. The poll included season ticket holders, Chelsea fanzine proprietors, various fans groups and even fans on the terraces of the Luzhniki stadium. The results came in thick and fast: “yes”; “yes”, “yes” and “Drogs and Rooney, who wouldn’t want that?”

The only dissenting voice was an ex-fanzine editor who simply said, “No ta. Fergie has f**ked him worse than the whore. Left winger? I don’t think so.”

The £100 million dollar question, quite literally, is whether Rooney himself will want to come to Chelsea? This is especially relevant for someone like Rooney because he’s a home town boy and is settled in the North West. In fact he’s never lived anywhere else. CFCnet feels that this fact alone puts a stop to any serious foreign offers as no one sane could ever imagine Rooney saying, “por favour Señor, tiene alguna Abuelitas disponibles durante media hora?” Translate that at your peril.

The other question, for the Club at least, is whether they can afford him, not so much for the transfer fee but rather the player’s wages. This concerns us because a number of players are on ‘parity’ contracts so if Rooney’s on £200k a week so will half our first team. We can’t afford it.

Our feeling is that Rooney will end up at Man City as he can (a) stay in the North West and (b) earn 200k a week. Yes, it will ruin his Man Utd memories and he’ll forever be a pariah at a Club where he was worshipped as a king. Perhaps that’s worth £200k a week, most players are mercenaries after all.

Finally, one rumour we heard from a well-placed source is that Abramovich was annoyed with Peter Kenyon’s decision not to sign Rooney in 2004 and it was one of the reasons that Kenyon was ‘released’ from his position as CEO. Kenyon felt that Rooney had a suspect temperament and the player went to United instead. As Rooney quickly became the most valuable English player alive (Frank and JT aside) – going on to win 3 Premierships, 2 League Cups and a Champions League title – Abramovich became increasingly annoyed.

Now’s the time, if Roman wants Rooney, to flex some financial muscle.

Don’t worry about us, it appears that Wayne would be welcome with open arms by Chelsea fans. If he doesn’t come to the Blues, the sight of him in a sky blue shirt winding up the Mancs will be worth opening the champagne anyway.