Monday 9 May
Manchester City U21 0:1 Chelsea U21
Charley Colkett slotted a late winner for the U21s as they approach the end of their season. A young side didn’t look overawed in the rather grand surroundings of the Etihad. One more trip to Leicester and they can hit the beaches.
John Terry will not take part in a valedictory match against Leicester as the humourless authorities confirmed the length of his ban.
We forgot to congratulate Middlesbrough, Aitor Karanka and Tomas Kalas on their promotion – Chelsea have sent plenty of loanees their way in recent seasons so it was good to see them finally pay off.
And who wouldn’t prefer a trip up to the Smog Monsters instead of a day out in Brighton. We will just have to hope and Hove Albion make it through the play offs.
Gustavo Poet has taken the Real Betis job instead of waiting for Nottingham Forest.

Tuesday 10 May
West Ham found a traditional cockney way to say goodbye to the Boleyn ground – that is Upton Park to you me and everyone who has ever been there but when it is time to get mawkishly sentimental it gets it official title – the loveable locals celebrated their goodbyes to their spiritual home by showering the Manchester United coach with bottles, breaking windows and leaving the United players cowering.
Kick-off had to be delayed after it had kicked off outside the ground and the celebration of their old ground didn’t get started until near 11pm.
Altogether now: “we’re forever throwing bottles, pretty bottles in the air…”

Wednesday 11 May
Liverpool 1:1 Chelsea
Nearly beat them but a last minute equaliser denied us two of the three points. Eden Hazard has really hit his stride and beat defenders left and right before shooting us into a first-half lead.
Liverpool rarely threatened but Sturridge brought a fine save from Begovic before the ’keeper palmed a cross on to Benteke’s forehead.
Tammy Abraham made his debut and there were lively performances from Kenedy and Bertrand Traore. It was satisfying to think even with nothing left to play for we are still better than Jurgen Klopp’s side
Next year will be our last in an Adidas kit. The club and the German manufacturer announced they were ending their deal early. At £30m per year it was a substantial lump when first agreed but Salford United have a £75m per and Real Madrid a £100m per season deal. Talking of Real Madrid, they’re playing their inter-city rivals in 10 days and if you fancy an early punt, why not use our good friends at Free Betting Online?
Those hoping for a return to Le Coq Sportif will be disappointed as it seems we will have to suffer a few years of Nike’s flimsy amateurish efforts. That is what you get when you allow Americans near football.

Thursday 12 May
Leicester City U21 3:0 Chelsea U21
The academy season ends with something of a whimper but after the success of this campaign you can’t blame them for taking their eye off the ball. Leicester by contrast needed a win to secure their status at this level so poured forward and were rewarded with well-taken goals.

Friday 13 May
John Terry has been offered a new deal but in a reduced capacity. He has said he will take some time to mull over the yearlong contract, which probably reduced his expected appearances.
Annual awards for Willian and Katie Chapman as best players and Eden Hazard’s heartbreaker against Tottenham was, obviously, the goal of the season. Ruben Loftus-Cheek snaffled the young player gong.

Saturday 14 May
Women’s FA Cup
Final tie, Wembley
Chelsea 0:1 Arsenal
Pah, you have to say Arsenal worked very hard to close Chelsea down but apart from their wonder strike we dominated and had plenty of chances. There is always next year.
Wembley was sunny and almost full as nearly 40,000 showed up.

Sunday 15 May
Chelsea 1:1 Leicester City
Genuine warmth for Claudio Ranieri and his Leicester City side bathed the afternoon in applause and allowed a match without any rancour and no little skill.
We should have had them buried before half-time but a Fabregas penalty was all we could show for some inventive and entertaining approach work.
Their equaliser was typical of Leicester’s season and means they finish with just three defeats.
John Terry took the mic after the match to suggest he wanted to stay and hinted that negotiations might be necessary to up the take-home but that he wanted to get a deal done.
Elsewhere, Tottenham’s drab finish to the season came to another disappointing end with a 5-1 tonking from Newcastle United. The loss means Arsenal overtook the boys from the Lane for second place. Spurts will be delighted to play in the Champions League but not in the manner they achieved it.
Manchester City booked the other berth as they secured a point at Swansea.
Manchester United and Bournemouth will have to try again after a suspicious package was discovered in the stands. The bomb squad carried out a controlled explosion … insert your own United gag here …