Especially when you’re the one receiving them!
Who amongst us has never offered a bribe or been given one?
That twenty pound note which persuades the turnstile man to press the pedal as you go in. The steward on the football special, no ticket, oh, a twenty pound note, 3rd carriage and behave yourself.
The car park attendant, twenty pound note, put it next to the Jaguar.
A large drink for the lady and another one and why not, one more for the road.
What are we after? Hoping she wakes up with a hangover or would you like to come in for a coffee?
We all do it and why?
So we end up getting something we want. Money and sex are the two most sought after things we crave.
Why is football being dragged through the gutter with headlines on super injunctions and FIFA being accused of large scale corruption?
If I was president of FIFA I’d certainly be accepting gifts and why not? Wouldn’t you?
When anyone accepts anything for nothing, it’s never that.
It’s never for nothing. There is always an ulterior motive.
In business as in life you have to keep certain people sweet.
What do players do with their free tickets and match worn shirts?
Family and friends and people who look after them. The car dealer, the tailor, the jeweller, the hotel attendant who hides his car and lets him in through the fire escape with his latest bit on the side.
The club directors who wine and dine the bank manager.
The Champions League sponsors who pay for cars and hotels and free tickets just to make sure their best customers keep coming back.
The football agent in my cab from the tennis to Ramsey’s at the Royal Hospital. He prefers foreign players, he gets more, the manger get more and the player is just pleased to be playing Premier League.
The match worn Champions League final shirt, signed and framed and the Ricky Hatton gloves. Both would have cost a small fortune plus the £300 taxi fare.
And who got them? A 19 year old girl’s dad and 4 season tickets for 3 years at Arsenal. Better than then another Sun exclusive.
The world is corrupt. We’ve had the MPs being jailed for expenses. The super injuctions are old news. Now let’s go after FIFA.
Nothing sells news like a bit of a scandal.
Change the government, change FIFA. They are all corrupt. Trouble is, so are the next lot.
I was in Bond Street, an ex formula one driver came up to my cab. Took my photo and gave me a small wrapped present. Take this to … When you’re there, wait, and you will be met and paid. I was, and a nice tip. I few months later I saw him waiting for his car after the men’s final at Wimbledon. I stopped and asked him if he still had my photo on his phone. He said “that bitch cost me twelve grand.” – At least the cab driver kept quiet!
Bribery starts when we’re very young.
For those of us with children who hasn’t their young son or daughter to go and get you another beer from the fridge – give you a pound if you do!
Perhaps that’s where I went wrong. Lounge to kitchen and back is surely only worth 50 pence?
Everyone has their price, and FIFA have their one.
Don’t get caught.

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