Newcastle’s new stand is a lop-sided monstrosity that’s so high every seat should come with a free pair of binoculars. Either that or Sherpa Tensing should be renting them out at base camp. After planting the Blue Flag at the summit we sat down to a hotly contested game which paled beside the sweeping vistas of Norway’s distant fjords.

This was an average performance and although the lads tried hard, there is a noticeable lack of both cohesion and team spirit. Jimmy’s not helping by continually whinging and sulking at his team mates, but to be fair, the service he received was abysmal.

Having watched the first five games of the season, the idea of us winning the league is laughable. Our performances have been mid-table at best and questions are now being asked. Still, it’s early days and if Flo can tuck away his chances we might just win a game.

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