What a week! Really this week had all the comedy and drama of watching a Greek play. And I don’t mean an Ancient Greek play with unities and crap like that, I mean watching a Greek like Kyrgiakos play. Yup, that would have been a better joke if I’d actually had anything to say about Kyrgiakos, but that’s not the point, the point is this has been a crazy week.
First of all, let’s knock this whole Andy Gray thing on the head. Andy’s not a nasty man. He’s Andy Gray. He’s in an idiot, sure, but he’s not nasty. So what if he said something sexist? Who cares? This isn’t the 1950s. This is the 21st Century. These days everybody knows there’s no innate difference in the intelligence of men and women. Just like we all know the moon isn’t made of Le Roulé, or that they don’t stand on their heads in Australia. Nowadays it’s a given. You don’t have to go overboard if one numpty says something to the contrary. If they want to think that, then let them be an idiot. Why not? But sacking them for it is a bit rich. If Sky want to sack Andy Gray for being an idiot they should really ask themselves why they were paying him £1.3m in the first place. £1.3m for saying “Did he mean it? Ah don’t know.” Who’s the idiot there? And anyway, who isn’t an idiot in football punditry? Clive Tyldesley? Mark Lawrenson? They’re all idiots in their own way, but let’s not sack them for it. Poor old Andy Gray. I for one am going to miss him. I’m going to miss his unique take on the English language, the fogginess with which he offers his insight and most of all I’m going to miss his unanswered questions placed in the minds of footballers. In his world if no one else’s, footballers think a lot. Andy Gray, take a bow son. Good riddance to Richard Keys though, he’s a twat.
So anyway, on to the business end of things: £76m in one evening? BOOM! We’ve all had blowouts, I remember once when I went to chicken cottage and got the whole family box, just for me. But £76m? That’s serious spending. Honestly, Brewster’s Millions would be a cinch these days. And yet what are people saying? As usual they’re casting doubts… Is it the right move? Is Fernando Torres going to have the right mentality? Is he perhaps too much of an injury liability at £50m? And what about David Luiz? 26m on a centre back who is untested in the Premier League is punchy isn’t it? And you know what I say? Who cares? The important thing is that £76m means one thing: Roman Abramovich is looking after the future of the club.
There had been voices whispering that Chelsea was a spent force. We knew we had an aging side and we knew we would need to bolster it at some stage. In the midst of this Roman had his dream of a Barcelona style academy with its own stream of awesome youth players coming through the ranks. But we all knew deep down that cash was going to have to be spent to give them the best chance of success. We all knew that with Manchester City amassing such a wealth of attacking talent that something was going to have to be done. Even Barcelona spent 40m Euros on David Villa. Deep down, we all knew that if we wanted ice in our Baileys and the lift was broken then Marcus Tandy was going to have to break sweat. And what happens? You want ice? You got ice. Booya!
The last night of the transfer window was pivotal for Chelsea’s future, and it couldn’t have ended in a more emphatic way. Chelsea FC are still the champions and it’s going to take something special to keep us out of the picture.
On a lighter note I think it is quietly astonishing that anyone paid £35m for Andy Carroll. I mean, sure, he’s got potential, but £35m? What were they thinking? And what about Dirky Kuyt? How do you think that makes him feel? In future, in order to avoid the brouhaha over bankers’ bonuses, they should just announce the sums in portions of Andy Carroll. It doesn’t sound so bad when you hear Bob Diamond is getting Andy Carroll’s sideburns at the end of the year, does it?