Monday 26 September
It isn’t often in life that you can be thankful for the Daily Telegraph, tramps often praise it for sticking to the broadsheet format and therefore offering more warmth, the Daily Mail are grateful because if it wasn’t for the Telegraph they would be the most extreme right-wing, most moronic, smear of metaphoric shit on this country’s metaphoric toilet paper.
But today they have done the country and all football fans around the world by revealing that the England manager is a moron and probably cost him his job.
The undercover hacks from the ’graph (as they probably like to style themselves) taped a fake-sheik sting in which Sam Allardyce said there were ways round the FA’s own third party ownership rules if you knew how to do it, wink.
He mocked Roy Hodgson, and god knows we have too, but we never felt it necessary to target his speech impediment as Allardyce did. He resembled nothing more than a plain bully in calling his predecessor “Woy”.
Other revelations are due out on Wednesday.
It all means that Sam could be the shortest serving England manager in history.
Tuesday 27 September
Ah, yes just as the Champions League is kicking off news come through that Sam Allardyce is no longer the England manager. Gareth Southgate will lead the team for the next four matches while the FA try to find someone – like, for instance, Ronald Koeman – to fill Big Sam’s immense tactical shoes.
At least Gareth has a bit of experience of tactical nuance having worked with Steve Holland in the U21 set-up.
We bear no ill will toward Sam Allardyce he was just the wrong man for the job. We would lend him a fiver until cheque day any time.
After all if you remember that 4-3 win against Bolton Wanderers all those years ago it was Big Sam netting the own-goal winner to hand us our best comeback win ever.
It is a double celebration today because Peter Bonetti turns 75 today. Happy Birthday Peter and watch all those candles they can be a fire hazard as you get older.
Saturday 1 October
Hull City 0:2 Chelsea
After a very quiet week on the training ground Chelsea showed off a new style 3-4-3 with Azpilicueta, Cahill and Luiz at the back and Moses and Alonso playing the wing-back role.
It worked in a way, Hull were never going to be the sternest test of the new system but we kept a clean sheet and everyone looked comfortable with it.
Willian opened the scoring in the second period by making a little space for himself and curling the ball into the top corner.
Not to be out done Diego Costa repeated the trick after Matic’s run and shot was smothered the big Brazilian curled his own shot into the same spot in the net. 2-0 and good night, we could have a penalty when Willian had his heel clipped but, hey, this is Chelsea, we don’t get penalties.
It will need real hard work for Chelsea or any team to break into the top six clubs this season, such is the competition in the Premier League this season.
Chelsea U18 1:0 West Ham United U18
Ike Ugbo stole in to net a rebound in a game we dominated but just couldn’t put to bed.
This isn’t just a proving ground for young talent either – referees perform at this level to hone the skills they’ll need to be strutting, mindless, thin-skinned, petty martinets. The referee here booked Dujon Sterling before immediately showing him a second yellow, breaking the spirit of the law that suggests you issue a warning rather than a card to a player who is pushing his luck.